It wasn’t meant to be so, not like this. The weight is too heavy, but the call was yours to make. I see myself drowning in the pool of my own doing. I tried to point fingers but I’m tired. I’m running out of breath and my consciousness is declining.
I am not dead nor am I dying, no! no! no! my dear this is the worst.
This is despair, this is fear and this is guilt.
Despair for being stupid and failing to understand.
Fear of consequences of the actions I took, both intentional and unintentional.
Guilt for building a wall that pushes people away and being egotistical.
But is it my fault? Should I take sole responsibility or blame for this situation? Or should I just accuse the society? Wait, will that be making excuses?
I guess the only way is to own up to my mistakes. Then apologize for my shortcomings, to amend the wrongs I did and to keep on working hard for a better me and a better future.