Poetry Uncategorized

How long will I feel like this?

My heart is guarded. A wall has been built.

The bridge has broken. The doors are short tight.

I have an army ready to attack.

Yeah, I want something meaningful, but my defense pushes people away.

I’m scared to let love in, because I am terrified that it will leave me again and leave me hurting.

I want to tear down my defenses but my mind kept reminding me the reason it was put up in the first place.

I want something beyond explanation, but sometimes when I find it, it rejects me. Whereas, making the wall thicker. The more the pain the thicker the wall, that is how the game works

I hope to find someone to take away the pain. I hope meeting them will smooth my soul. But for now all I have is me, the willingness for change and the ability to make a change and that is okay.

By oliscosunset

I am but a creative mind trying to explore my talent. The world we live in is made for all but yet is unique to you. Am but a single soul yet my hart cries out like soldiers in the battle field.
Welcome to my blog.

3 replies on “How long will I feel like this?”

I like how you ended this on a positive note about your willingness and ability to change. I found that I had to love myself and become emotionally healthier (not perfect) before I was ready for a healthy relationship with the love of my life. I put my energy into the constants of my life that had always been there for me – the things I loved – art, nature, music, family and a few good friends. I was afraid to love again, so I gave my pain to God, who would never leave me, and became willing to heal. It was a process that took time, but it was worth the effort. I wish you the best.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s